If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
