Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
