i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's shark week go big or go home
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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