I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
