WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
