stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
