Ketchup is God's man juice
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
