so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
