if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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