They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
