Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
