Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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