I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
