ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
