How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
