i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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