I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
