break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
