Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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