a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
