I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Can you bring me the toilet please
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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