I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
