My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
