I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
