the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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