so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
