just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
