saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
