everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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