I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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