The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
