i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
