dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
