hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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