My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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