I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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