Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
