I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
