im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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