I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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