hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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