I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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