Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
