Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
