Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize