I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
