Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Found the puke drawer
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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