I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
