You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's shark week go big or go home
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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