I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm really busy with my period
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