so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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