Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize