Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
