I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
