Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
