My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm at about main and main street
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
