My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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