all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We're using joints as your birthday candles
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize