what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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