i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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