He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
only you would photoshop your dick
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
