I hate your face
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
