She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
