Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
