your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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