Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize