youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
