he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
