so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
