whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
