Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
