She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
