Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
