Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just want nice things and good sex
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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