her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
even my farts smell like vagina
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
