Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
