Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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