He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
