Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize