listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Shame is for Republicans.
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