If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
