U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
