I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
