they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
