don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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