i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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