This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
